2003-09-05 - 10:11 a.m.
Originally posted: 2002-11-12 - 5:15 p.m.
On the way home tonight I was napping on the bus and it happened again. I 'woke up' but my body is still asleep. It's a curious feeling, my mind is awake and alert, but my body will not respond to my thoughts. I can hear the sounds of the other passengers, can feel the vibrations of the bus, feel my head roll around limply as the bus moves, but I can not effect any of it.
It is truly a frightening experience.
This is what is must feel like to be paralyzed, to be aware of your surroundings but unable to interact with them. To hear everything, feel everything, smell everything, but to be unable to speak.
Through sheer force of will I make myself move, I shake off the paralysis, but it's hard. it takes a great deal of will power to regain control of my body. Thinking about it I wonder why I have never explored this darkness? Maybe it is too much like death, since I'm an atheist this feels like what death maybe like, I don't know.
One interesting thing about today's mini-coma is that I was dreaming when it happened. The dream kept playing on, like a radio left on in the other room. It was an unusual dream. I was young, late teens at the most and had just graduated from law school. My father is some big shoot executive type, very powerful. He wants me to help him prepare a case to justify the existence of a barely legal court that is important to his business. But I want nothing to do with it, I want to expose him and his shame court to the world. Then run off to join the circus and marry the tattooed lady :) Ok I made that last bit up, but tattoo's are hella sexy on a woman ;)
What I'm reading:
What I'm listening to:
The heater warming up the house
Movie recommendation of the day:
Did I mention I got the new LotR DVD today? woohoo!
